The Elephant in the Room

This is one of those sayings I have always hated. I guess being a bigger gal anything pertaining to whales and elephants I kind of shy away from.

Once again the comedian that lives inside my head will tell people that the whale is one of my totems but being a large girl I rarely admit it.

"Elephant in the room" is an English idiom for an obvious truth that is being ignored or goes unaddressed. The idiomatic expression also applies to an obvious problem or risk no one wants to discuss.

Now for most people there elephant can go unchecked  , however for big people not so much.

Most people can go through life hiding there elephant, through other addictions like alcoholism, drug addiction, gambling. I am not saying these are not life altering or painful but there elephant would not be noticed by the everyday social interactions , say at the office , or at a party  or lets say a customer at Wal*Mart

Our issue is that we WEAR OUR PAIN

Yes my fat is in essence an armor ....

I was talking with someone the other day I work with, she is bigger than I am. We were talking about how we are treated by others and how people don't stop at saying what is on their mind about how you look or what our weight issues are. Offering advice on how to lose weight and become more active...Like we don't know

We Judge...that is what we are taught to do at a very young age. Judge everything. We are brought up as mini bi products of our parents fears, prejudices, guilt and failures. Not as the magic beings we could potentially become.

We have to lose the magic by being told what we feel is and see is not true and as we grow we become shallow, judgmental beings. Abusive to each other in the school yard , gossiping behind each others back , getting caught up in rumors and ridicule of others... and as we grow older we start to see that this is wrong and then search for answers to become that magical being again. Through reading, Religion, meditation, self growth and going inward what we seek  is what we crave ..acceptance and understanding.

The person goes on to tell me how when she was 18 she was married to a man whom she loved and was 8 months pregnant. Then on the way home one night they were hit by a drunk driver and her husband was killed instantly and she went into labor and they could not get to her in time and she lost the baby too.

I have been at work with this woman and have heard people comment to her, to her face about her weight. It is a bloody miracle that this woman is not in a psych ward let alone functioning with two jobs and smile and laughs. It is a miracle she leaves the house, and gets up and walks her dog and trods through life. It is a miracle she has not killed someone for their shallow , messed up and not asked for advice and comments.

What gives people the right to say anything to anyone about their weigh , how they look etc. When did we become so enlightened that we have the right to "judge like a God".

My life is my business and if I needed an opinion I would ask.

I have talked to a lot of large women over the years , getting to know them as friends etc. and there is one major thing in common with ALL OF US. We have had some sort of tragic, life altering ugly event that has happened in the past that now matter how we keep trying to let it go we fail. Our drug of choice is food.

We Wear our pain. Plain and simple. I can almost guarantee you 100% of all fat people do not want to be fat AND if they have come to accept their largeness , which I am fine with as well they still face the every day attack on their self esteem and being.

Two years ago I was jog/walking to my car after a phone call I got from Ray, and a car full of young people were driving by. The window opened and one of them threw a hamburger at me and said.."have another one fat ass".

Did they think advice like that is helpful or funny for the two second laugh they got out of it , were they aware that I was rushing to my car because my cat was dying and I didn't make it in time to say good-bye. Did they care that they layered pain on top of pain?

My point to this entry is this. The next time you see a fat person instead of saying to yourself fuck he or she is fat ...(and if you do repeat these words in your head...cancel cancel cancel )

Ask yourself What is there story!!

I will share more of my soon!!