Martial Hearts

I just got back from having supper with Royce Gracie...Yes THE ROYCE GRACIE!!

Today marks an anniversary in Ray's and my life. We have been committed to each other for 16 years today.

I met Ray at the ripe old age of 24, he was teaching a woman's self defense course at Northcliffe centre in Halifax. I was married at the time and lived in Lower Sackville. I convinced some of my friends and co-workers to take take a class with me and where I was the only one out of the city, they won on the location.

I can remember walking into class. I had just taken off 70 lbs and felt a little insecure about my size ...( look even small I was not comfortable in my own skin!!)

We took the first class and my friend asked if I wanted to go grab a coffee afterwords and I told her yes.

We went to Tim Hortons and sat to talk. She said that I was acting strange. I tried to convince her that nothing was wrong but she persisted...My response even shocked me...".Look I feel like I have just met my soul mate and my second husband". Ray and I had not spoken , but his eyes locked on mine for a split second and I felt a "ping" like nothing I had ever felt before. I was electrified.


"Did that just come out of my mouth " I thought...because at this point my marriage was OK not stellar not bad but I was content . That was all about to change.

The third week of class Ray informed us that he would not be teaching the next class , that his assistant would be why?!? Because he was getting married. My co-worker and I both told him to run and we all laughed.

As the course was ending he told us about the other course he taught called Jujitsu...I went home and made a few phone calls (no one had the Internet then ) I talked it over with my husband and I enrolled to take this class...I also brow beat one of my co-workers into doing this as well so I was not alone.

I remember pulling up to the school , Ray was sitting half in and half out of the truck wearing some pretty awesome wicker shoes and a wife beater oh and he had a caterpillar he called a moustache on his lip (why did I love him...right the lightening bolt)

I also remember walking into the bath room and having the nervous stomach..well something like that. We now refer to them as the ju-shit-su.

First class was alright we went with one of the senior students who took us through some of the beginning techniques and I kept watching Ray out of the corner of my eye.

He invited the person working with me to a movie night at his house and told me that senior students hang out together ...I was thinking how do you become a senior student.

I trained a few times a week for months getting to know him better and better , hoping he would be a total ass hole and that I would put this to rest and move on with my white picket suburb life....Not only was he not an asshole , he was awesome. Kind and very generous....Damn!!

I gave him my phone number one day and told him if he was bored to give me a call sometime and maybe we could go for a walk or something. I never expected it to happen , then one day out of the blue he called, while my husband and I were painting the bedroom...I wanted to put everything down and run out the door but instead Ray said that he would call again.

I am an honest person . I never once lied to my husband about going out with Ray EVER.

A few weeks went by and Ray started coming to my house to give my co-worker and me some extra lessons...can you say disaster in the making!!!

Ray invited me out again. This time I could go. I drove into town and met him at point pleasant park. We went for a nice walk and then we went to The Public Gardens for another stroll and ice cream.

Our next adventure was off roading in Tantallon . He took me to lunch at the two gulls restaurant and we talked and laughed...I had myself convinced that we could be friends..that is it just friends.

He was over at our place another time and left his jacket by accident....I had it for a week and use to pick it up and smell it. God I loved that smell and still do..Stetson!! He still wears it and it still has the same effect...I LOVE IT!!!

He invited me to one of his kids classes that he was teaching (yes that is odd I don't even like children all that much..but hey he invited me) It was that class that would change my life forever.

As he sat with the kids teaching and playing with them, one child, the youngest in the class , I think he was 4at the time ,needed a bit more  attention than others in the class. ( that child   is now a black belt in our club and like a son to us) Ray took him out of the circle and did a few drills with him...that was it my heart almost beat out of my chest. I was 100% in love with this man...No ifs ands or buts.



We played this "we are best friends game" for almost a year. All of this time I was training as well.

I woke up one morning and rolled over and looked at my husband and stated to get dressed. He asked where I was going...I told him to talk to my parents...He said that he was my husband and I should talk to him. I took one deep breath and turned around and looked at him and said "I want out". I am not happy I am done!!

That was it....I phoned dad who was a crisis intervention councillor  (I found out this day , that only really works if it is not your father and directly involved in the situation...who knew) came over and told me that I should get use to the fact that Ray was never going to leave his wife and I should reconsider. I told my father that regardless I knew what love now felt like and I never had those feeling for hubby #1..My father sighed and and stated that he was glad that the previous month he had paid off the other wedding...ooops..

I now refer to the first marriage as that really long date my dad paid for and we all see the humor in it.

I have trained in Martial Arts for 15 years and am totally blessed at the brotherhood it has led me too. I have a lot of fantastic memories and had great times

I have trained with some of the top names in the world


Dan Inosanto
Bart Vale
Grandmaster John Pellegrini 
Tom Sharkey
Grand Master Dion
Jean-Yves Thériault (the real ice man)

Kyoshi John Therien
 Robert Krantsz 
and 
Ron Beer


I am probably missing a few as well


I trained really hard and for many years was the only female in the school
. I went through the ranks like all of the students and did every test required. I actually did two black belt tests one in the club and the other on video that was sent to Toronto.


I was the first female black belt in our style in Nova Scotia. I also took the Gold medal in my division in Judo in the Nova Scotia Provincial tournament in 1997.


Since I opened the store I have given up training not due to injury or lack of interest but due to lack of time. 


I am realizing more and more not only how much I miss training, BUT how much I miss watching Ray teach. He mesmerizes me. His ability is like the top trainers of the world.


He is like watching a dancer , he is beautiful full of joy laughter . This is his calling. And how we fell in love.
I miss his power and grace and pinching my bum as he walks by me in class. Ths inks, the nose rubs..everything.


I made him bring home target mits the other day hopefully to inspire the both of us to train together again.


I love this and I love him.....and I miss this and I miss him.....